OUTSIDE THE SQUARE

What a meeting we had this week. Georgia Poyner, a 15 year old Narooma High School student, kept us spell bound for about an hour on her free diving, scuba diving, photography, triathlons, spearfishing, drawing and much more . Her pictures of the sharks, in particular, brought back memories of scuba diving at South West Rocks among the sharks and so I can well understand her love of what she sees metres below in our oceans. Just listening and seeing all that she did in the last 12 months was amazing and to top it off she is helping to research our marine environment as a volunteer.

Now wonder Rotary emphasises the need for more and more youth programs.

As I write Sandra Doyle is in Canberra at the Model United Nations Assembly (MUNA) with students from Narooma High School – Paris Blessington, Lilly Burgess, Shaina Woodard and Cyann Vlatovic. They are representing the Phillipines and we know they will gain a great deal from the experience.

Last night (Friday) Donna & I attended the Quota Trivia night at the Narooma Club in support of So Art. Laurelle was also there but I did not see any other Rotarians, but, as I am woeful at Trivia, I was not looking too hard. However one piece of Rotary news was that we have two applicants for Rotary Youth Program of Enrichment. More work for Sandra who is doing a sterling job with our Youth program.

Today (Saturday), thanks to the efforts of Frank and Iris this morning, we sold all our Whale tickets.

While I hate selling tickets, it really is a good public relations exercise as you get a good chance to engage with the public and let them know what Rotarians are trying to do in and outside their community.

You might note I have not used an acronym . I sent an email today to Sandra with a misspelling of an acronym but, unlike Peter’s and Bob’s excuse last Thursday, it was not deliberate to catch out whether she actually noticed the mistake. I have an admission to make. I had to look up what the acronym for Rotary Youth Program of Enrichment actually meant to make sure I had it right.

For me at least it means I am definitely Outside the Square as all these acronyms baffle and annoy me.

President Michael.

 

 

Last Week’s Meeting:

As President Michael has mentioned above, our guest speaker was Georgia Poyner. What an outstanding young person she is – enthusiastic, engaging, confident and obviously a dedicated hard worker. This year 10 student is an accomplished artist and photographer, swimmer, triathlete, scuba diver, angler, researcher and teenager, who, in her spare time, sits submerged in cold briny water at night to count rare tropical fish for university researchers. This activity involves the citizen scientist organisation, REDMAP, an initiative of the University of Tasmania & the Australian Government. Georgia was recently awarded a significant grant from the Aim for the Stars – The Layne Beachly Foundation to do work experience in Tasmania with IMAS (Institute for Marine & Antarctic Studies). As a result of this study she has been invited to go with an expedition to Macquarie Island, Antarctica. Georgia’s art & photography as been acknowledged with several top 20 finishes in the annual Moran Photo prize. (sorry Michael for the acronyms)

Attendance: 12 members in attendance

Guests: Georgia Poyner (guest speaker), Michelle Slavik (Georgia’s mother), Iris Domeier

Wheel: Port – Chris O’Brien, Chocalates – Angie Ulrichsen, Wine – Bob Antill

Birthday:Hon. member Pam Rayner PHF celebrates her 91st birthday on 1st September.

As Rotary is her only family in Narooma, any members who can drop into Estia, Dalmeny to wish her well would be great.

 

Joke of the week:

Returning a little early from an interstate trip to see his team play at the MCG, a bloke sees the car of his wife’s boss in the driveway. Suspecting an affair, he asks the cabby if he would be a witness. The cabby agrees, in return for $100. Together, they go through the back door, creep up the stairs, and into the bedroom. And … sure enough. Switching on the lights, the bloke yanks the blanket back and there they are, naked! The husband puts a gun to the naked man’s head.

The wife shouts: “Don’t do it! I lied when I told you I inherited money. HE paid for the Porsche I gave you. HE paid for your new fishing boat. HE paid for your football season tickets.”HE paid for our house at the lake. HE paid for your golf trip to St Andrews. HE paid for our Australian Golf Club membership and HE even pays the monthly dues!”

Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband lowers the gun. He looks over at the cabby and says, “What would you do?” The cabby replies, “I’d cover him with that blanket before he catches a cold.”

(courtesy Peter FitzSimons SMH 21 August)

The Minotaur.

OUTSIDE THE SQUARE

A beautiful but cool ( 15 degrees) swim this morning but sadly the only Rotarian to be outside the square this morning.

Taking up Peter Bull’s suggestion of toasting an overseas club as our International toast, last Thursday we toasted the Rotary Club of Dun Laoghaire , my hometown in Ireland. They appeared chuffed by the toast and they will toast us on the 8th September.

We had a great talk from Annette and Paul from Southcoast Health and Sustainability Alliance and it tied in beautifully with Frank’s idea of hosting a Solar Expo ably supported by his committee.

Whale ticket selling is going well as we have sold 23 books so far. Thanks to Ang for a remarkable 11 books sold. Hopefully those who have books of tickets to sell are well on the way to completion.

Please put on your thinking caps as we are hoping to have a fun night for our meeting on the 8th September so please let me know what you think we might try out.

President Michael.

The week that was

Last Thursday 12 members were present, 5 guests also joined us for the meeting and fellowship, they included Chris’ guest Joan Morgan, Iris the partner of Frank, Annette Kennewell, our guest speaker and her partner and Paul Dolphin who was also a part of the Southcoast Health and Sustainability Alliance (SHaSA).

Peter Bull gave an interesting 3-minute talk about his grandfather, practically about his involvement in the First World War and the battle of the Somme. Peter’s grandfather wasn’t at the front line, his role was in the Pioneers, building roads, bridges and tunnels. Peter told a great yarn of a tunnelling exercise that just happened break ground near a Frenchman’s wine cellar! Peter also told the story of his visit to the Somme and the impact it had on him.

Our guest speakers were Annette Kennewell and Paul Dolphin from SHaSA. Annette told us how SHaSA came about – the initial idea was to investigate how power bills could be reduced for those on low incomes or renting a house by putting solar panels on their roofs. The Alliance received a $50 000.00 grant to carry out a feasibility study. SHaSA has now moved to trying to source solar panels for local homeowners through a bulk buy system. The idea is that the Alliance can get a better price through a bulk buy system and a tender process. To date the Alliance has received more than 270 expressions of interest. If you want more information visit the website (www.shasa.com.au) or read the article by the mayor in last week’s Narooma News.

Paul spoke about other opportunities for renewable energy including solar farms and community renewal investment funds. He also spoke about the inevitability of climate change and the need to adapt to new forms of energy sooner, rather than later.

House Keeping

Don’t forget the Whale Watching raffle – Michael needs assistance to sell the tickets. To date Angie has sold 10 books! Well done Angie.

Volunteers are needed for the next market – please go online and fill out the roster.

Organisation for the Renewables Expo continues, Frank and the committee are doing a great job pulling it altogether – don’t forget help will be needed.

Dying to Know Expo – see attached flyer.

Happy Moments

Peter Bull fessed up to putting unleaded in the Mazda (yep it’s a diesel!) – the happy moment was that no damage was done to the motor.

Mike Young relayed his home renovation successes (?) and Bob told us about a nasty scare with his daughter (the happy moment is that all seems well) and Chris told us that her daughter was returning form an overseas holiday.

The Wheel  

Laurelle won the lemons, however, she knocked them back saying that she had too many already, Bob Antill ended up being the lucky winner. For her trouble Laurelle won the honour of serving the port. Peter Bull took home the wine.

Our Club sponsors Narooma’s MUNA team

Our Youth director Sandra Doyle is off to Canberra this weekend with the Narooma High team for the annual Model United Nations Assembly (MUNA), along with students from 27 other schools from the eastern states.

Go team!

MUNA provides students with the extraordinary experience of contributing to a United Nations General Assembly style debate in Old Parliament House.

The Rotary Club of Canberra Sunrise organises it with support from the Australian National University (ANU), while our Club is sponsoring the Narooma team.

Sandra and teacher Lachlan Reilly have been helping Paris Blessington, Lilly Burgess, Shania Woodard and Cyann Vlatovic prepare for the weekend.

‘Our team will represent the Philippines so over recent weeks they’ve been busy gaining an understanding of the Philippines’ history, politics, economics and particular stance on world affairs,’ she said..

‘Each school team will represent a different nation and is expected to debate contemporary global issues from that country’s point of view.’

This is the third time Narooma High has fielded a team, thanks to the combined efforts of Angie, David and Rachel, Lynda and now Sandra.

The students’ experience last year led to a debating club being established at Narooma High.

Students will visit the ANU and also join diplomats from the countries they represent at a dinner on Saturday night.

Other south coast schools taking part in this year’s MUNA are Batemans Bay and Moruya High Schools, St Peters at Broulee, and Lumen Christi at Pambula Beach.

Some Humour

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, “Pull, Nellie, pull!” Buddy didn’t move. Then the farmer hollered, “Pull, Buster, pull!” Buddy didn’t respond. Once more the farmer commanded, “Pull, Coco, pull!” Nothing. Then the farmer nonchalantly said, “Pull, Buddy, pull!” And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch. The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times. The farmer said, “Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn’t even try!”

Why did God create man first?
Because he needed a rough working model before creating the perfect specimen of the species.

The Minataur.

Outside The Square

I write this just after having a balmy swim with the NUMNUTZS at Bar Beach. It was a pleasant but cool 15.5C^o though, I suspect that is definitely outside the square for most members who would possibly consider it barmy and not balmy.

It seems school holidays (grandparent duties) and cool nights kept our numbers down this week but a lively assembly and Board meeting was had. The status quo regarding the ducks remains and the development of our revised constitution and rule changes are in the able hands of Frank, Sandra and Rod. No doubt any constructive contributions would be appreciated by the group.

Bob and Merinda successfully craned their new home onto their site last week, we wish them all the best in getting it organised and ready to enjoy.

All in the club wish Linda Ord all the best with her forthcoming operations and we look forward to seeing her back on deck soon. While missing Linda’s contribution on the Board for the next few months we welcome Sandra Doyle to replace her and to guide our Club through the many Youth projects that our Club promotes in the local community.

At this week’s meeting I will attempt to explain what is happening with regard to our Club’s 1000km walk in Western Australia next year. I will also outline why someone who dislikes walking will not only attempt to complete the walk but walk up to 5000kms in preparation for the event. Why? To support END POLIO NOW and Friends of Rang’I efforts to alleviate some of the effects of poverty in rural Kenya.

REMINDER; THERE IS NO MEETING ON 28 JULY INSTEAD WE HAVE CHRISTMAS IN JULY ON 31 JULY AT 153 OLD HIGHWAY

If you have not already done so please let me know as soon as possible if you are coming to our CHRISTMAS IN JULY. Partners/friends are welcome particularly if they have deep and generous pockets. Every dollar given on the day will go into the fundraising account with nothing deducted for expenses etc.

It should be a great Sunday afternoon.

Michael

The Week that Was

The Editor was absent last Thursday entertaining visiting friends, so he unable to update you on the meeting in detail, however, President Michael’s ‘Outside the Square’ provides the most relevant pieces of news.

The week Ahead

Again President Michael will lead the way. He will be our guest speaker. The topic – ‘Why is an Irishman walking 1000km in the Western Australian heat in 2017?’

Want to know more about the history of the Rotary Foundation?

Check out this link it takes you to a fantastic interactive timeline.  http://centennial.rotary.org/en/history-rotary-foundation

How is our Scholar, Connor Ross going at uni?

PP Charmaine recently received this email update from Connor -some great results!

Hi Charmaine,

I hope you and all at Narooma Rotary have had a good start to the year. I’ve had a very busy one, releasing and promoting an EP of my music through February and March, and sound designing for an original student theatre Triptych production at Melbourne Uni in the latter half of the semester. I must’ve done an alright job at this latter, as I’ve already started work on sound designing for Melbourne University Union House Theatre second semester production of Macbeth, which looks to be a very unique and challenging take. All in all, the year is looking very exciting as I work on diversifying my skillset.

Today I received my results for the past semester, which had a focus through my core subjects on the history of popular music genres and how they played into broader socio-political contexts. I found this both very interesting and challenging, which was great.

My results are as follows:

Music: Style & Genre – HD (83)

Music in Popular Culture – CR (68)

Spatial Sound Composition and Diffusion – DI (73)

My grade point average (GPA) is 3.6 out of a possible 4.

My continuing thanks once again for all your support through my studies.

All the best, and warm regards to everyone at Narooma Rotary,

Connor.

Some Humour

A Dead Duck?

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has   passed away.” The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?”   “Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead,” replied the vet.

“How can you be so sure?” she protested. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “$150!” she cried, “$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!”

The vet shrugged, “I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $150.”

 

Outside The Square

On a wet and cool Thursday Rotarians were cooking and helping out with NAIDOC festivities at the Narooma Sports and Leisure Centre. Bob, Merinda, John and I got cooking at two locations on the Old Highway (Antill’s and O’Connor’s) with Sandra, Lyn and Ang helping to receive and serve the goodies. Given by the quantities of food consumed the effort was appreciated by those present at the festivities.

That night we had our first meeting of 2016/17 and had a great talk by Alicia Smith on her dedication to her sport of water polo and the effort it takes to be an Olympian.

Peter Harley then told us about his niece going to compete in Rio in the sport of BMX. We wish her all the best in her endeavours.

Stan Gorton of the Narooma News was honoured as a Paul Harris Fellow in recognition of his incredible contribution to the great community we call home. Bob Antill did the honours and the acclamation from all was testimony to how we all feel about the great work that Stan does in our community.

Last Thursday’s meeting was the last for our exchange student, Radar, who returned home on 9^th July. Radar clearly expressed his appreciation of his hosts, Bob and Merinda, Peter and Karen and Lynn and all in the Club who gave him an unforgettable experience. We do hope he will come back someday to say hello. He is a fine young man and we all wished him well for his journey home and for his future.

This year is our Foundation’s 100^th year and I hope that by putting a $2 coin on a regular basis into the money boxes handed out at the meeting we will be Centurians by June 2017.

MARK YOUR DIARY

31^st July 1.30pm 153 Old Highway CHRISTMAS IN JULY

IF PLAN ‘A’ DOES NOT WORK REMEMBER THERE ARE 25 MORE LETTERS IN THE ALPHABET.

Michael

The Week that Was

Guests included our speaker, Alicia Smith, Merinda Antill, Iris Domeier, Stan Gorton from the Narooma News, Nikki from National Parks and for the last time, our exchange student, Radar Lin.

As Michael indicated in ‘Outside the Square’ the meeting was ‘full on’.

First off Past President Bob, presented a Paul Harris recognition to The Narooma News Editor, Stan Gorton, for service to the community. Stan was honoured and greatly humbled by the award. He indicated that our Club’s recognition meant a great deal to him, especially during a time when the local paper was undergoing significant change.

Our guest speaker was Alicia Smith. Alicia was a former goal keeper for the Australian Water Polo team. She represented at numerous elite events including 2 Olympic games, Commonwealth Games and World Championships. Alicia proudly passed around her two Olympic Bronze Medals (Beijing and London) as well as her World Championship, Silver Medal. Alicia spoke about how she got into water polo; the physical, emotional and financial costs of competing; the difficulty in juggling work, study and training in a lesser known sport; the intense competition for a spot in the team as well as the drama of waiting to hear if she made it onto the Olympic team.

Alicia is a delightful young person and a great ambassador for Australian sport.

Merinda reminded us that the meeting was Radar’s last as he was due to fly home on the weekend. Merinda spoke about how much she and Bob enjoyed having Radar in their home as well as the changes they had observed in him during his time in Narooma, Bob told us that Radar had received an outstanding report from Narooma High School, coming first in many of his subjects. Radar thanked the Club for hosting him as well as host parents Bob and Merinda, Peter and Karen and Lynn for looking after him. Radar assured us that he will keep in contact with us and encouraged us to visit Taiwan to get a real sense of Asian culture.

Happy moments included Bob Antill telling us that the lawn mowing business had been sold and that the house would be finally delivered next week; Chris O’Brien also told us that she had sold South Coast Lighting; Frank revelled in the fact that he no longer was the Beacon Editor; Lynda Ord told us of the wonderful life and times of a mother in law who had passed away at the ripe old age of 101 and Peter Hartley proudly informed us that his niece had made the BMX Olympic team.

And the raffle winners!

The port

Radar!!

Eggs  

Bob Aston (Thanks Merinda, they were great for breakfast on the weekend)

Wine   

President Michael

Birds Seed? 

Frank Eden

Favourites Chocolates

Our Guest Speaker – Alicia Smith

The week ahead

This week is our first Club Assembly/Board meeting for the 2016/17 year. In his email on 9 July 2016, President Michael asked us to come to the meeting to discuss and to give a view on:

• Purchasing plastic ducks for the annual duck race or continuing with the current arrangements
• Using a law firm to draft a new constitution or to do it ourselves.

If you have other items for discussion at the assembly, please let Michael know well before the meeting.

Michael has also asked us to ‘Think Outside the Square’ for ideas for Narooma Rotary for 2016/17.

Want to know more about Rotary?

Have a read of the Rotary Leader, click http://www.rotaryleader-en.org/rotaryleader-en/en201607?pg=1#pg1  to find out more.

Some Humour

A Perfect Marriage?

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other, except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day, the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife’s bedside.

She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totalling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents. “When we were to be married,” she said, “my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.”

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

“Honey,” he said, “that explains the dolls, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?”

“Oh,” she said. “That’s the money I made from selling the dolls.”

 

Outside The Square

30th June 2016 will I hope, be a night to remember, as the fun and laughter we had at changeover, led by our MC Peter Bull highlighted how Rotarians can have fun even when important events in the Club are taking place.

It was a pity that our well-deserved ROTARIAN OF THE YEAR, LYNDA ORD, was not there to receive the accolades for the tremendous work she puts into our Youth projects. I also thought it was fitting that she followed on from last years recipient, David McInnes who worked tirelessly to get our Model United Nation Assembly participants so well prepared that the motivation has swung over to this year participants.

Another “missing in action” was Stan Gorton of ‘The Narooma News’ who was a well-deserved and popular recipient of our Paul Harris Fellow, but never fear he should be with us this week.

Our theme for this year is SERVING HUMANITY and I hope we can do that by being innovative and by liaising with other Clubs in their projects as many hands make light work. We are all motivated by the same ideal of doing good in our community as reaching out beyond our town with International Projects.

My first official task of our 2016/2017 year came the next morning when I attended Narooma View Club’s 38^th birthday. Your President was the only male in a sea of women and surprisingly the only representative from a service club present for the celebration.

Focusing on the theme “Serving Humanity” I decided to serve up scones, jam and cream to the all the workers inside and outside the polling booth who were doing a great job upholding our DEMOCRACY and in essence “Serving Humanity”.

The Australian Election Staff Supervisor was somewhat stunned to be asked permission if this Rotarian wearing his shirt could hand out the scones but the workers seemed to enjoy it. Those outside from all political hues laughed and joked and it set the tone for the day with individuals from all political persuasions helping each other out.

The stunned response, then laughter, from the dozen or more voters exercising their democratic duty who also received a scone while waiting in line was a sight to behold.

It was a sudden spur of the moment thing and alas I did not get a photo but as there were over 40 scones handed out, Rotary’s name got a positive boost in our community.

That was my THINKING AND WORKING OUTSIDE THE SQUARE MOMENT. Being spontaneous does have its rewards.

Michael

The Week that Was

Yes, last week was the Club’s annual changeover. More than 60 Rotarians, partners, visitors and guests attended the evening, a great reflection of Rotary in our community. Below is the article contributed by Laurelle Pacey to the Narooma News, it provides an excellent overview of the evening.

Narooma Rotary celebrated a great year last Thursday night at the Whale under the presidency of Bob Antill.

‘I am blown away by how many people came here tonight,’ President Bob Antill said.

The 65 guests included the Rotary District Governor’s representative Past District Governor Bruce Gruber and his wife Jill, Eurobodalla Shire Council Mayor Lindsay Brown and his wife Lynn, incoming Rotary International Director Noel Trevaskis, and representatives from Bega, Batemans Bay and Moruya Rotary Clubs, Narooma Lions and Quota Clubs, and many local volunteer organisations.

Mr Antill paid tribute to all Narooma’s service clubs and volunteer organisations ‘who keep our little part of the world humming’.

He said it had been a great privilege to lead Narooma Rotary ‘and its 20 wonderful members’ over the past year.

A highlight had been hosting Rotary Youth Exchange student Radar Lin from Taiwan. Radar returns home next week.

‘When I look back over the last year I am amazed at what we have achieved,’ he said.

In that time Narooma Rotary has given over $37,000 into the community, both locally and internationally, from proceeds from Narooma Markets and various fundraisers including raffles, film nights at the Kinema, and the annual Duck Race.

‘We punch above our weight and we do it with pride,’ he said.

Several donations were made on the night, including to the five local Rural Fire Brigades, Monty’s Place, Narooma Surf Life Saving Club, Snowy Hydro Southcare, and the Asha Foundation in Nepal.

In outlining the Club’s plans for 2016-2017, new Narooma Rotary president Michael O’Connor said he wanted ‘to reach out’ to other local service clubs and possibly work together on some projects.

Other highlights on Thursday included the excellent musical recital by Merinda Antill and Radar Lin and the raffle win by Rolf.

The week ahead

Chris has organised a great speaker to start off the new Rotary year.

Alicia Smith

Alicia was the goalkeeper in the Australian Women’s Water Polo Team from 2003 to 2012. She was an Olympic Bronze Medallist in 2008 and 2012 and a Commonwealth Games Gold Medallist in 2008. A wonderful achievement!

Alicia even has a Wikipedia entry. According to this wonderful free encyclopaedia Alicia was born in Helensburgh and attended Helensburgh Primary and Kirrawee High Schools. She also met Prince William at a barbecue when he was in Sydney in 2010. I reckon she will have some interesting tales to tell us about the event.

She is currently the Coach of Sydney University’s Lions Premiership team.

Alicia lives in Dalmeny with her husband and two young children.

A note from the Editor

President Michael has asked me to be the Beacon Editor for 2016/17, a task I am happy to do, however, the Beacon will be a more valuable resource and a better read if members contribute. I would love to have your stories, views and jokes to include for the benefit of all members. Please either post contribution on the website or email them to me. The deadline is 6:00pm Sunday evening.

Bob Aston

Some Humour

The Airplane and the Parachutes

One night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, the world’s greatest athlete, the world’s smartest man, the Dali Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke.

The cockpit door opened, and the pilot burst into the compartment. “Gentlemen,” he began, “I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that we’re about to crash in New Jersey. The good news is that there are four parachutes, and I have one of them!” With that, the pilot threw open the door and jumped from the plane.

The athlete was on his feet in a flash. “Gentlemen,” he said, “I am the world’s greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. I think the world’s greatest athlete should have a parachute!” With these words, he grabbed one of the remaining parachutes, and hurtled through the door and into the night.

The smartest man rose and said, “Gentlemen, I am the world’s smartest man. The world needs smart men. I think the world’s smartest man should have a parachute, too.” He grabbed one, and out he jumped.

The Dali Lama and the hippie looked at one another. Finally, the Dali Lama spoke. “My son,” he said, “I have lived a satisfying life and have known the bliss of True Enlightenment. You have your life ahead of you; you take a parachute, and I will go down with the plane.”

The hippie smiled slowly and said, “Hey, don’t worry, pop. The world’s smartest man just jumped out wearing my backpack.”

… Author unknown